It's not funny!

The dear OLD dad has some nasty confessions to make. It really isn't funny. The power went out this morning for about an hour and a half or so, and I had some patterns to draw, so I was in the house. I hear a knock at the door, and look out the window and see no new vehicles or anyone. I just figured it was our little Becky playing the "I knock on the door and you answer it" game that she has dicovered and grown quite fond of. I dutifully went to the door to do my part, and took hold of the door knob. Then a nasty thought came into my head. I'll scare her! So I yanked the door open and snorted really loud and then a man's belt buckle was staring me in the face. He only jumped about four inches, and had eyes the size of saucers. I don't think he lost any water though. He must have perfect bladder control.
Next I got a call from uncle George, and he told me another sober story. His friend Marty rents the other half of the building they work out of and is the bishop of his ward. Apparently one of the sisters has a son that is a little mentally handicapped. He is adult, and can pretty much take care of himself, so mom left him home alone, and ran some errands. Sometime along her route she got a call from her handicapped son. He was pretty excited, and said "Mom, there is a troll in my closet!" As only a mother can do she comforted him and told him to calm down and he would be alright, she would be home in a while. He hung up the phone and a few minutes later it rang again. She answered it and it was her son. "Mom, you gotta come home there is a troll in my closet! Again she calmed him down, and told him he would be alright, she only had a few things left, and she would be right home.
A few minutes later another call came and he said "Mom, you gotta come home now!,I caught a troll and he is in my closet!" With all the excitement coming through the phone, she thought she had better get home and find out what was going on, and make sure he was alright. As she tried to open the front door the couch was in the way blocking the door. You can imagine the thoughts going through her mind as she finally got in the house through the obstacles. Her son told her to hurry upstairs and see the troll that was in his closet. When she got up into his room he had a dresser in front of the closet door, so she helped him pull it out of the way, and opened the closet door. there to her astonishment was a dwarf, looking up at her with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he was out "witnessing" for the Lord all by himself, and when he knocked on the door he got kidnapped, and thrown in the closet. I bet he didn't think it was funny either!
This evening Laurie went to women's conference up at BYU. She told the kids they could watch a movie. Most of us voted for Hogan's heros. Matthew came over to where I was doing some things on the computer and said (holding two old video cassettes with the lables worn off them, )"Which one do you want to watch?" Of coarse I didn't care, and without looking up I said "Hogan would be fine" Next thing I knew the movies were under my nose, and He said these are the only two. I asked "What are they?" "Seven brides for seven brothers" and Blackbeard's ghost". We have watched both of those movies a few times this week, so I said "Hogan".
He sat down by me and said "dad is your favorite color black?". I said "no, everyone knows it's green" He hardly had time to think before he said " This movie has grass in it, and it's green!
We watched "Blackbeard's Ghost".