What the Sam Hill to you do with a six inch long thumb?

I really didn't know it was possible for a thumb to grow six whole inches in length in just a few short seconds, but sure enough it's true! That stupid thing doesn't fit inside a glove any more, and seems to run into any and every obstacle that comes along.
I really don't know how long that naughty word was in my mouth, but had apparently been lodged in between some teeth or something for days. It had plenty of opportunities to jump out today but took it's own sweet time. Believe me it's not good to even have them in there, and honestly I didn't have a clue it was there. It didnt shake loose when that hundred and fifty pound ragged piece of steel caught the glove and drug it to the immovable stopping point where everything came to a sudden stop with my poor short thumb being the only cushion in the equation. It didn't come out when I shyly pulled the perfectly good undamaged leather covering from the hand where it had been perched all day. It didn't even come out when I saturated a paper towel trying to get my apparently super long finger to stop bleeding.
I really don't know who coined the phrase "sticking out like a sore thumb", but it's amazing what a quarter inch deep gash can do to lengthen out something so short. I was able to get a large gauze taped over it in such a way as to get it back inside a very large glove, but the glove seemed to grow in lenght the same as the thumb.
My thumb must have felt like the fish swimming hard and fast with it's eyes closed, all of a sudden it hit something hard, and "DAM".
I told the kids I joned the bishop's owwy finger club. Matthwe said "That's a dumb club to join dad!"